We are such a fast paced busy society. The 21st century has us overbooked, over stressed, and completely disconnected with each other. We are families with busy careers and too many activities. The time spent face to face with each other is being replaced with being shoulder to shoulder in the car distracted by some sort of gadget. I Pods, cell phones, and video games have replaced real human interaction. Families used to treasure the time around the dinner table just sharing and talking, creating strong family bonds. Now, it’s a race to throw something in the microwave or visiting the drive thru in between activities. We are losing the true purpose and beauty of life and our families are missing out on the deep bonds that make family so precious.
Don’t get me wrong, I love social media. I have reconnected with friends, “watched” families grow through shared pictures, and kept up to date on all the happenings of family and friends near and far. I love reading blogs and having answers to questions only a Google search away. But, I am not cultivating real relationships by starring at a screen all day, actually just the opposite is happening. We are becoming an anti social culture losing our ability to have meaningful person to person relationships.
Having a presence is social media is fantastic and can be incredibly beneficial. It is a great tool to reach masses, connect, and network. Placing limits, especially for our children is vital. We need to give them plenty of opportunities to be disconnected and let them have the chance to develop organic imaginative play, learn social cues and interaction, develop critical thinking skills, proper communication skills, and time to build lasting strong relationships. In order for my family to see the value of disconnecting I have to demonstrate healthy social media habits.
I found myself slipping lately. My son called me, “laptop mommy” the other day, YIKES! I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who wasted her day in front of a screen “Liking” someone else’s memories; I want to be making my own. Imposing healthy limits on myself will keep me mindful of what is valuable and meaningful. The importance on being present in your home and limiting outside distractions be it social media or too many activities will have positive impacts on children especially as they grow into their teen years. Having meals together and making time for each other will greatly reduce the likelihood that your children will abuse drugs and alcohol and they will experience a greater sense of joy and satisfaction not just with their family but life in general.
I am making the commitment to reconnect and be present with those I am with and focus on things that have eternal value.
What are some steps you take to limit computer, cell phone, extra curricular activities, etc..? I would love to hear from you! As always, thanks for taking the time to visit.
~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca
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Hey Rebecca great post!
Jay and I cut the cell phones off on the weekends really early. I don’t get to see Jay during the weekends. Therefore, we cherish our weekends. It’s really the only one on one time we have. A lot of people are glued to cell phones until bed time. We rather talk to one another. If it’s an emergency they can call the house line! A smart phone can easily take precedence in a relationship.
Great idea and I absolutely agree with you. It really shows how much you really value your relationship! We actually just share a (not so smart) prepaid cell phone, lol! We’re too overwhelmed by all the choices, but, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I hope you both had a great weekend 😀
Rebecca y’all are doing right stick with that prepaid! You have a computer at home. I like saving money and I looked into prepaid phones. Once my contact is over with Verizon I may drop this phone!
I totally agree with you Rebecca. Having a full-time job, PRN job, and self-publishing my book, my time is limited. Especially since I want to make enough time for family and friends, too! What I usually try to stick to is balancing my time and making a schedule. For the most part it works. I try to keep up with social media comments during the week on my lunch hour and then once a week I spend 2 hours doing more social media networking and connecting. I know it’s not much but my life is much happier when balanced!!!
WOW, you have a lot going on! Making a schedule is a great idea. How’s the book coming along? It must be a lot of work but really exciting at the same time. Thanks for visiting. I hope you are having a blessed day!
Thanks, Rebecca, for asking about my book. It has been quite a journey but very exciting! There again, I usually schedule about 3 hours a week on marketing. Not much, but little by little, I see progress!
I don’t have facebook, twitter, instagram, etc. Only the blog and pinterest, and even those I’m on too much! I’m afraid if I get anything else, I’ll be sucked into an internet vortex that I can’t escape from. 🙂
I really admire those who know their limits ahead of time and avoid the temptation. Thanks for visiting. ~Blessings~
Great post, Rebecca! We have written down our ‘screen time’ rules and have them posted. On school days, the kids get 1 hour of screen time–this includes computer, wii, handheld devices and T.V. (The only thing that doesn’t count for this is if we watch a t.v. show as a whole family.) If they want to earn an extra hour, they must do chores, exercise, read, study the bible, etc. It teaches limits and helps give a measure of self-control. The weekends are a bit more lax, depending on the season. All in all, not a perfect system, but it works fairly well. (When they are out of screen time, they suddenly are excited to spend time together too!) 🙂
Ohh…Good idea to write down the rules and post them. Hard to ignore when they are hanging next to the computer. I like that they can earn extra time, I think I might try that. I can always count on a Rebeca for good advice 😉 Thank you, my friend!
“I found myself slipping lately. My son called me, “laptop mommy” the other day, YIKES! I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who wasted her day in front of a screen ”Liking” someone else’s memories; I want to be making my own. Imposing healthy limits on myself will keep me mindful of what is valuable and meaningful. The importance on being present in your home and limiting outside distractions be it social media or too many activities will have positive impacts on children especially as they grow into their teen years. ”
Everything needs moderation they say. Every once in a while I notice myself avoiding my son — NOT NICE when often done. He’s only 13 and he needs his dad time too.
Enjoy your blog time and family both, I hope.
As for myself, I structure my time… its different on different days, but I do make schedules and keep pretty much to those. On blogging, I keep it to short periods. I have lots of drafts in my POSTs dashboard and I right-click on my reader to browse posts more quickly. I try to make sure that I visit anyone that visited me also. Since I do this methodically, it isn’t too difficult to keep my blog time in my schedule. One or two days I do more… depends on what else is going on. Scheduling is a good thing in my day.
Thanks for posting this story.
~ Eric
You’re right, everything in moderation but one, (namely me) needs to be realistic what moderation means. Having a schedule is a great idea. I think it would help knowing when and stick to it. I always appreciate your insight and wisdom, thanks for visiting. ~Blessings~
Rebecca
Thanks Rebecca…from the mountain top to the valleys this piece is a clarion call for the 21st Century citizens of the world. I so much love it and will definitely share it on my blog http://www.graceology.org
Thank you, my friend! I always welcome your insight. Thanks for visiting. ~Blessings~
You dearly welcome
This sounds about right. My children always comment on how I just stare at the computer screen. Not a pleasant way to be remembered for sure!
Love this: “I don’t want to be remembered as the mom who wasted her day in front of a screen ”Liking” someone else’s memories; I want to be making my own.” So true!!! Glad I found your blog! 🙂
Thank you, my friend! I really appreciate the feedback 🙂 I hope you’re having a blessed day!
Rebecca – I just love this.. It fits right in with our simplifying and de-cluttering. I have started *gasp* not bringing my phone everywhere I go. It’s really kind of sad how naked I feel without it 😦 Which (obviously) only makes me more determined to leave it more often. I realized it was a problem when I was watching my kiddos “play” as if they were texting – sigh… Yup they always shine our best light don’t they?
I figure it’s just another opportunity to show me how far I still have to go 🙂 I can only be thankful that I don’t have to try and go it alone!!!
So very true! I have written some devotions about that very issue. I heard someone call the computer a time-s*cker. A very apt description indeed! How easily “just a few minutes” on the computer can become 30-60 minutes of time that we cannot regain.