Tag Archives: Heavenly Father

My Father Is……….

16 Oct
 This is something I came across long ago.  I have this printed out and keep it in my Bible.  It has been a treasure to me and I hope it will be to you, also.  Thanks for visiting.

Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca

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Reflections

28 Sep

I am coming up on a big milestone in my life.  My oldest daughter is getting ready to turn 18.  I became her mama under the most unfortunate of circumstances.  I was a young, unwed, teenage girl with no money and honestly no clue.  What makes the story a little more complicated is that she was born not well.  I was only 24 weeks pregnant when she made her very small and very quiet way into the world.  I think we can all agree that even under the best circumstances having a baby is hard and having a sick baby is super hard.

The past several months has had me being very reflective.  Looking back on that hard first year and the subsequent years that were still a little hard but mostly joyful.  I keep thinking on all the things I should of done and the things I could of done better. I look at her now, a senior in high school, enjoying a life much different than my own.

I was the youngest in a blended family of five, actually I was a big oops!  My older siblings really gave my parents a run for their money.  It seemed one big problem kept overlapping the next.  I was often told to go play and probably unintentionally overlooked because I wasn’t causing any problems.  Fast forward to the really formative years of my life and I was still alone.  I was left to navigate these years with only destructive bahavior patterns leftover from my now grown but still incapable siblings.  It was now my legacy and I didn’t disappoint.  The only difference is that being left alone for so long, I was good at hiding in the shadows, therfore, I was able to avoid real trouble.

I really missed out on healthy behaviors being modeled for me.  When I became a mama, I ferociosly loved my baby girl with all that I had. I didn’t know what being a good parent looked like but I knew that I wanted to be one.  The first years were trial and error.  What I really lacked and really craved for was a woman who I could look up to and someone who could encourage me.  Self pity is an expesive trip to take and I certainly maxed out.  A time came where at a cross road I had to decide once and for all the path I would take.  Since I didn’t have the people I needed I could become the type of person I needed.  I love that even though I didn’t know God, He still had His hand on me.

Thus, the journey began. So here, 18 years later, I reflect on the journey and all that I’ve learned. That the brokenness of your past does not have to be the legacy of your future.  It is never too late to keep trying again.  That with God nothing is truly broken, that all the past wounds, heartaches, disappointments etc..are all God shaped.

So here we are.  I look over at the one who made me a mama and thank God for our journey this far.  She is learning to navigate this complicated world as a young woman with dreams and desires and she is trying to make a mark for herself despite the physical limitations of Cerebral Palsy.  She is walking with the one who loves her most and because of that she is OK and so am I.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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I Saw Faith

16 Sep

I held a woman today as she sobbed for her daughter who recently passed away.  I have not drank from that cup so I can’t imagine the debilitating pain of losing a child.  There is nothing, even with my very best intentions, I could do to ease the terrible ache in her soul.  I did experience something extraordinary in the midst of her pain.  I saw real faith.  Not the “God is good because life I going my way” faith but faith in the arena of despair.

This woman, in her profound agony, said “I trust in you, Lord”.  She is battered and beaten, breathlessly crawling her way to the throne to the feet of our Savior and she says in between sobs, “I trust you, Lord”.

Faith that doesn’t doubt God’s goodness but trusts that He is Sovereign.   Faith that says “I’m not OK”, but I will be.  Faith that says “Your will, not mine”.

I know grace is given in accordance to what we are going through but I am not sure if my faith is that unshakeable.

What I do know, is that today, in the brokenhearted face of a mother, I saw faith and hope and trust and Jesus.

Through all the pain and heartache, the victory is still ours!

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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My 13th first Day of School

5 Sep

Well, we made it through another summer vacation.  We had a lazy uneventful but fun summer.  I’ll admit, I am very sad to see it end. I am gearing up for my 13th first day of school….YIKES!

I was sitting here thinking back 13 (that flew by) years ago, Labor Day.  My oldest, Alison, was a precious itty bitty five year old with pink glasses.  She was anxious for her first day of kindergarten-I was not! Tuesday came. Even though we could of slept in a bit (because she had the afternoon class), Alison was up early-ready to make it official. Sporting a new outfit, her name tag, and her new pink backpack, that was almost bigger than her-we headed out on a beautiful Colorado day, on our short walk to school.  The classroom was buzzing with excitement as the kiddos explored their classroom and made new friends.  The teacher gave parents a few minutes to take pictures and give extra hugs.  One by one parents started to trickle out until it was just me.  I was thinking “They expect me to leave this precious child who hasn’t left my side for more than 5 minutes for almost 6 years, here alone-without her mama?”.  I made up my mind right then, that she needed me too much to leave. I was gonna stay.  Of course, the kindly teacher assured me that she would be OK and that I would see her in a few hours.  I left that classroom and cried my heart out all the way home. Sad, because life as I knew it had changed forever and it changed so suddenly in just one day. No more leisurely afternoon Hundred Acre Wood picnics, no more late night blanket fort sleepovers, and no more little shadow all the time.  She was a big girl doing big girl things- without me!  Time passed slowly that first day.  Time eventually passed and I made my way to pick her up.  I remember thinking how upset she must of been all day and how glad she will be when she sees me.  I envisioned her plowing through the crowd and jumping into my open arms begging to never go back.  When she saw me she was in tears, but not for the reasons I thought…the girl didn’t want to leave school.  She really burst my bubble.  She had a blast-without me!  Here I was mourning and she was having the time of her life.  Life did change that day but certainly not for the worse.  We just moved into a different season of life and it was still wonderful. Even if she is a high school senior!

Brouke came along and I went through it all again.  Now I am sitting in the same place as I was 13 years ago except this time, my baby-my last born, my only son will be  starting his journey as a first grader.  Yes, I will cry and have a moment but I will look on with joy as I watch my boy learn and grow and I’ll be reminded how very blessed I am.

I know many are here with me.  My prayer for you is that God will be near to each of you as you kiss the sweet faces of your babies as you send them out into the world. May he comfort you as you adjust to a new season. For all our babies, may God watch over each of them as they begin a new school year.  I pray for safety and protection over each of them.  May God Bless each of you!

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca

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He Sees You

19 Aug

glowing cross

As you begin a new week and you’re feeling the days are mundane and daunting remember…..

To the tired mama’s who watched the sun rise trying to rock a baby back to sleep-He sees you.

To the husband who works tirelessly to support his family but feels unappreciated at home-He sees you.

For  the toilet, tub, and floor that need to be cleaned again-He sees you.

For the person sitting in the exam room wondering how they are going to handle this diagnosis-He sees you.

To the teen mom who is watching all her friends pack and leave for college-He sees you.

For the weary parents who are praying for a miracle-He sees you.

For weary children struggling, caring for their aging parents while caring for their own children-he sees you.

For the single moms wondering how to make your paycheck stretch even further-He sees you.

To those who feel weary, tired, and broken-He sees you.

Our Heavenly Father sees and loves His children.  You’re not alone, Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”.  God is there, with you.  The enemy’s whispers will fill you with doubt and his lies will make you feel like a failure but stay strong and courageous.  The Lord is your peace (John 14:27) ,stronghold (Psalm 27:1), and your comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). 

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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Talking to our kids about Boston

9 Jul

This was something I wrote and shared on our MOPS blog right after the Boston bombing. My thoughts on talking to our children about such things

It seems more and more we are having to be so deliberate to shield our children from never ending bad news. Shooting, war and now a bombing.

I still remember the morning more than a dozen years ago when I turned on the TV just in time to watch live as a plane took out the second tower. It was the first time I knew that I couldn’t hide the bad news from my then five year old, Alison. Minutes later my nightgown wearing barefoot daughter made her way sleepily to the living room. As she snuggled down deep next to me she knew that this morning was different. You don’t necessarily think when you are cradling your baby in your arms that one day you would have to explain evil to them. You are not prepared and I don’t think you can be. It is just one of those jump in head first and pray that what comes out is sufficient enough to be truthful and satisfying without ruining the innocence and wide eyed curiosity that only childhood can yield. How do you remind them the that here and now in my arms or at school or at grandma’s they are safe? I know we need to filter but most of the time it is unavoidable.

Several months ago. Another school shooting. This time it was Brouke’s turn to see what evil looks like. And now, an all American wholesome activity marred by destruction and devastation is plastered everywhere. The horror and destruction is all over the TV and on the lips of every adult.

It is a fine line and letting your kids steer your conversation will generally give you parameters to work with. Kids usually ask great questions and beyond what they ask is most of the time unnecessary. They will clue you in to what is in their heart and how much they can handle. With the little ones be selective, you don’t want to compromise their sense of safety. Older kids will be able to process more but all children will need extra love and reassurance. Speak scripture to them. Remind them not be worry or be anxious (Matthew 6:27) that God will deliver us from our fears (Psalm 34:4). Tell them that God will give them peace and that He is in control (Phillipians4:6-7). Remind them for every bad person their are thousands of good people. Let them get involved in making the world a better place by giving them opportunities to serve others and their community. It helps channel all their fears and gives them a sense of control over their environment. Mostly, trust your instincts. God gave you the children you have for a reason.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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