Not a Cherished Daddy

15 Jun

I love reading all the beautiful tributes to all the wonderful father’s today. It really shows how important a “Daddy” is to his children. Let me speak from my heart for a minute.

I want to talk to the men who might not be among the most cherished men today. You might have become a dad when you didn’t want to be one, maybe you were young, or it was just the heat of the moment, maybe you were dealing with addictions, and maybe just don’t want to have to deal with your child’s mom. Let me tell you how crucial your presence or lack thereof is to your children.  A man can never truly be a man until he takes all the steps necessary to be a pivotal positive role model to his children.  Yes, it is messy, expensive, hard work, and requires sacrifice but I promise you will never regret being that parent but you will always regret being the latter.  It is never too late to take that first step toward reconciliation.  The first steps are scary, uncertain, and sometimes filled with deep hurts but it shows great courage to be the man that can put his pride aside to pursue your children.  It will take time but I promise with consistency and love healing can and will happen.  Our children our suffering with the lack of positive father figures.  Kids without dads are more likely to become addicts, teen parents, suffer from mental illness, and have higher rates of suicidal tendencies.  We seem to make light of the importance of men in our culture and tend to portray you as incompetent, idiotic, sperm donors……you have an important, God given role in our society and it is up to you to live up to it and prove the naysayers wrong!  Men, we need you to step up and become the strong, moral, respectful leaders and ladies we need to build up our boys and men to help them be all that God calls them to be. Ladies, if we spew negativity and bitterness toward men all the time our sons and husbands suffer leading to the further breakdown and disappearance of respectful men.

If this is you, please let me encourage you how important you are in the lives of your children and maybe it isn’t ideal but sometimes the most beautiful rainbows happen after the biggest storms.  To all the ladies (I have been there), God sees all you have sacrificed, seen all the hard work, and has collected every silent tear that has fallen into your pillow (Psalm 56:8). Let me encourage you too, to keep an open receptive heart to your child’s father (without sacrificing safety, of course) and never speak poorly of the other parent in front of them. Good, bad, or otherwise your children will form their own opinion and will respect you even more for it……I promise! If you want to make the first step but need some guidance please message me and I will connect you to someone who can help.  God bless all the daddies and all those mama’s who are pulling double duty!

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~


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7 Responses to “Not a Cherished Daddy”

  1. Jacqueline F. Holmes June 15, 2014 at 11:14 pm #

    Beautiful, heartfelt post. I use to be a product of a father that just left. It affected me greatly in so many ways. It took coming to the end of myself and calling out to the Lord for help. He came in and helped me. A lot of my problems came from anger towards an absentee father and it wreak havoc in my life. But God! He showed me this truth. He delivered me, healed my heart and made it whole. I am able to love now because of him.

    I also believe wives need to be strong in the Lord and it will allow the Husbands to be as God called them to be in our homes and outside. He must be the Leader. Wives, must respect them. If a woman truly knows the power she has by having an intimate relationship with the precious Holy Spirit. He will always guide her right.

    Thank you for sharing this. Your voice was needed and heard. I love this because I lived it and I know what God can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Rebeca Jones June 16, 2014 at 9:17 pm #

    Well said, Rebecca. This is such a needed message. Both to the men–yes, pursue your children’s hearts! And to the women–stop tearing down the men in your world. If we would step back and see the damage we can so easily cause, and step up to do our part to fix it, what a wonderful world we could create! Nice post. Grace and peace to you!

  3. paulanderson13 June 17, 2014 at 6:42 pm #

    I like this post a lot….not just because I’m a dad, but because you speak the truth. God created men and women for a purpose. Women certainly have a lot on their plates as moms and men have the pressure and opportunity to provide for their famililes and lead by example. There are a lot of boys in the world today, but not many faithful men. My 2 sons are my greatest joy and I cherish the opportunity to model Christ to them, although very imperfectly. We need more men on their knees. Thanks for this.

  4. Lindsay June 18, 2014 at 12:50 pm #

    Thanks for writing this. It can’t be said enough. Nothing in the world can replace the example of a good father. I only hope I can find a good man someday, and I pray every day I would be worthy of him.

    • Rebecca June 18, 2014 at 4:34 pm #

      Oh my friend, I have been in your shoes. I love where your heart is about praying to be worthy. God Bless you, and I will keep you in my prayers. Thanks for sharing with me and for your sweet encouragement…it blessed me!

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