Tag Archives: bitterness

Not a Cherished Daddy

15 Jun

I love reading all the beautiful tributes to all the wonderful father’s today. It really shows how important a “Daddy” is to his children. Let me speak from my heart for a minute.

I want to talk to the men who might not be among the most cherished men today. You might have become a dad when you didn’t want to be one, maybe you were young, or it was just the heat of the moment, maybe you were dealing with addictions, and maybe just don’t want to have to deal with your child’s mom. Let me tell you how crucial your presence or lack thereof is to your children.  A man can never truly be a man until he takes all the steps necessary to be a pivotal positive role model to his children.  Yes, it is messy, expensive, hard work, and requires sacrifice but I promise you will never regret being that parent but you will always regret being the latter.  It is never too late to take that first step toward reconciliation.  The first steps are scary, uncertain, and sometimes filled with deep hurts but it shows great courage to be the man that can put his pride aside to pursue your children.  It will take time but I promise with consistency and love healing can and will happen.  Our children our suffering with the lack of positive father figures.  Kids without dads are more likely to become addicts, teen parents, suffer from mental illness, and have higher rates of suicidal tendencies.  We seem to make light of the importance of men in our culture and tend to portray you as incompetent, idiotic, sperm donors……you have an important, God given role in our society and it is up to you to live up to it and prove the naysayers wrong!  Men, we need you to step up and become the strong, moral, respectful leaders and ladies we need to build up our boys and men to help them be all that God calls them to be. Ladies, if we spew negativity and bitterness toward men all the time our sons and husbands suffer leading to the further breakdown and disappearance of respectful men.

If this is you, please let me encourage you how important you are in the lives of your children and maybe it isn’t ideal but sometimes the most beautiful rainbows happen after the biggest storms.  To all the ladies (I have been there), God sees all you have sacrificed, seen all the hard work, and has collected every silent tear that has fallen into your pillow (Psalm 56:8). Let me encourage you too, to keep an open receptive heart to your child’s father (without sacrificing safety, of course) and never speak poorly of the other parent in front of them. Good, bad, or otherwise your children will form their own opinion and will respect you even more for it……I promise! If you want to make the first step but need some guidance please message me and I will connect you to someone who can help.  God bless all the daddies and all those mama’s who are pulling double duty!

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Come see what I am Pinning!

“Image courtesy of [ponsulak] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.ponsulak

Copyright © 2014 · All Rights Reserved · www.andasprinkleoflove.com

Marriage in Pieces

8 Oct

I don’t think it is the heat of the moment that kills a marriage but the brick wall that is built after.  Holding on to bitterness, being self righteous, and keeping score, little by little builds a wall that is almost impossible to penetrate.

A bad moment can open the door for a real deep intimate connection with your spouse.  You can hold a grudge and spend a miserable day taking cheap jabs at each other and spending a long sleepless night clinging to the edge of the bed, rehashing the events, and dreaming of all the things you will say once morning comes.  You wake mad, miserable, and exhausted.

We come into a marriage as two selfish, sinful individuals learning, constantly, how to put another’s needs above our own.  We easily overlook our own faults but put our spouses under a blinking neon sign.  Yes, at first it all seems easy, you’re still reeling in the newness of your relationship.  We overlook each others faults and we let little things go.  Why?  Because love wins (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).  The mere thought of our spouse’s wonderful qualities seem to outshine their imperfections.  The first fight happens, tears are shed, forgiveness happens quickly, and you feel stronger and closer than ever.  Then each subsequent argument drags out longer, venom flows easier from our mouths, and grudges are born.  When grudges fester bitterness grows.  Brick by brick our walls are being built.

Instead of holding that grudge, take the opportunity to offer a prayer for a tender heart.  Take a minute to think of all the things you love about your spouse.  Somebody has to make the first move and that person can be you.  It can be extremely difficult (trust me, I know), especially if you feel you’re right. At the end of the day I would much rather have a strong thriving marriage than another check on my being right score card.  Think about how releasing your anger and extending understanding will draw you and your spouse to a place of deeper love, trust, and devotion.  Where forgiveness reigns bitterness can’t grow.  Instead of spending a sleepless night fuming spend a sleepless night talking and reaffirming the love and respect in your marriage.  You can smile about how exhausted you’re by your late night.  You’ll both be content because not only did you weather the storm but  grew closer because of it.

Let God work through you, not only when your marriage is for better but especially when it is for worse. Sometimes the only life line is the one you throw, it can be heavy but oh so worth it! Don’t let the enemy win.

I love hearing from you.  How do you keep bitterness from taking root in your marriage?

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca

Let’s connect on Pinterest

Linked up with

rhm

“Image courtesy of smarnad / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

 

Copyright © 2013 · All Rights Reserved · www.andasprinkleoflove.com

%d bloggers like this: