For much of my life my weight determined my quality of life. What I mean by that is, the heavier I was the less social I became. I would whole myself up hoping to just become a name without a face. I would slowly draw away from the circle so it would slowly swallow up my gap. I would become a whisper and a wonder. I truly felt my self worth was wrapped up to what the number on the scale dictated. With curtains drawn tight I spiraled into a pit of self loathing.
I have spent my whole life in a death spiral of one crash diet after another. Those consuming diets that steal all your thoughts and leave you watching the hands on the clock tick, tick, tick, ever so slowly waiting for the miserable days to pass. When a diet would finally stick, slowly the sun would begin to shine and I would again emerge vibrant much like a caterpillar breaking free from its cocoon. Life was mine to enjoy once again. I would seize every opportunity until it was time to repeat the cycle again.
I really needed proper perspective in order to reclaim my life and find joy regardless to what the scale said. Psalm 139:4 says, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful. If God’s works are wonderful than so must I be. I am God’s workman, created to do good works, which Christ prepared in advance for me (Eph. 2:10). How am I to follow Christ if I am unable to allow His will on my life? I must recognize the voice of the enemy when he is whispering his sweet lies in my ear and remind him that I don’t walk of the flesh but of the spirit (Romans 8:1). For God has plans for me to prosper (Jeremiah 29:11). Do you see, there are no conditions to that. He doesn’t say I will prosper when I am 110 pounds, He says I will prosper because He says so! I just have to be a willing vessel for His love and goodness.
Being at a place right now where I would normally hide, I am pushing myself to keep letting the sun shine on my face. Letting God work through me for His glory. I am grateful that God’s grace is given to me in abundance. I pray for victory!
Can you relate? I would love to hear from you!
~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
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