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The Quarrelsome Wife

A long day, over scheduled, tired mama keeping it together until the garage door opens. In he walks, hoping for the smiling faces, warm embraces, and the imminent smell of dinner. Instead, he walks into a pressure cooker. He already knows he is in for it and immediately wants to be anywhere but home. His home is no longer a safe haven from the world it is a place of discord and tension.
Yes, I am guilty of being that wife. I am guilty of nagging him until he relents, treating him as if he is inferior, and throwing all his shortcomings at him (exaggerated and imaginary ones at that). Shameful! I have seen the tension and pain this has caused him and my family. I don’t want to be THAT wife. So how do I strive to be the wife my husband deserves?
First and foremost I meet with God daily and pray that I would be a wife of noble character (Proverbs 31:10-31). We pray for our family or for so-and-so to change, but really we need to be in prayer for God to help us change our hearts. Secondly, I can’t expect my husband to be my god. If you hold your husband responsible to be your everything-he will fail you and let you down, daily. Give him grace and trust that God will meet all your needs (Philippians 4:19). Respect him. It can be tough, but a man would rather be respected than loved. God doesn’t tell us to respect our husband only if he (name any expectation). God calls our husbands to love us and for us to respect them (Ephesians 5:33). Lastly, prepare for him to come home. 20-30 minutes before he gets home have the kids help you tidy up, comb your hair, brush your teeth, get dressed, do something that makes you feel pretty (make-up, perfume, jewelry, etc). Get the kids excited. A few minutes before he arrives home tell them something like “Hurray, daddy will be home soon, who’s excited? Who will be the first to give daddy a big hug?” or something like that. When the kiddos are excited chances are you will be too!
Just think of the power you have to set the tone of your home. When your husband is greeted by a cheerful wife chances are this man will do just about anything you ask of him. Believe it or not, he really does want to please you, you just have to go about it the right way.
Give it a try and see what a positive difference it makes not only in your marriage but in your family.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca

Tags: believers, Bible, blessed, blessing, burdened, cheerful, children, christ, Christian, christianity, comfort, couple, Encouragement, Eternal Vaue, faith, family, forgiveness, God, grace, happy, homemaker, housewife, husband, Jesus, Joy, joyful, Lord, love, man, marriage, men, nagging, needs, noble, positive, prayer, proverbs 31, quarrel. quarrelsome, respect, scripture, Servant, serving, stress, teaching, tension, transformation, trust, Truth, weary, wife, Woman

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Categories Faith, Family

God Will Meet You Where You Are

18 Jul

Finding a quiet moment when you are parenting little ones can be tricky. There is never enough hours in the day. Sleep is a precious commodity, and going to the bathroom alone requires careful orchestration. We are busy caring for our children and husbands, tackling a never ending laundry pile, cooking dinner, running errands, and a hundred other things. Something has to give and unfortunately that usually means our quiet time (guilty!). Carving out a few minutes to meet alone with the Lord each day is so important-especially in this busy season. What are the benefits? Many. We get direction and wisdom from His word (Psalm 25:4-5). We grow more like God and His word gives us truth and correction (John 17:17). We have the opportunity to delight in the Lord and to worship and thank Him (Psalm 29:2). Those are just a few of the reasons. God will meet you where you are. In the bathroom, in the car, and even at Target. Start small, a few minutes each day. Grab your Bible and/or a devotional and meet with God.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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Tags: believers, Bible, blessed, blessing, burdened, business, busy, busy mama, busy woman, chaos, children, christ, Christian, Christian blog, Christian mother, Christian wife, Christian woman, christianity, comfort, delight, devotions, easy, Encouragement, Eternal Vaue, faith, family, food, Frazzled, God, God will meet you, God's love, gratitude, homemaker, homemaking, housewife, husband, Jesus, Joy, Lord, love, media, mother, motherhood, need, parenting, peace, prayer, quiet time, scripture, Servant, servants heart, serving, teaching, time, transformation, trust, Truth, weary, wife, Woman, worship

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Categories Faith, Family

Bedtime Prayer

16 Jul

When night rolls around and all is quiet, I close my eyes and stretch my face toward heaven with a deep contented sigh I thank the Maker of the heavens and earth for another day to walk among His glorious creation. To revel in sweet sleeping faces, sticky floors, and tooth paste on the counter. I sit and count my blessings of the day and can think of many-freckles on little noses, white wispy clouds being blown away by a warm summer breeze, watermelon trickling down your chin, holding my husbands hand in the car, and hours of Candy land. I then leave my troubles at His feet. A smile and an amen, knowing that the Lord was in my today and He will be in my tomorrow. While I sleep, He is up to something and I pray that tomorrow I will glorify Him even more than I did today and that His will for me be done. Sweet dreams.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Tags: bedtime, bedtime prayer, blessed, blessings, children, Christian, christianity, counting blessings, faith, glory, God, gratitude, husband, Jesus, motherhood, prayer, summer, trust

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Categories Faith, Family

Talking to our kids about Boston

9 Jul

This was something I wrote and shared on our MOPS blog right after the Boston bombing. My thoughts on talking to our children about such things–

It seems more and more we are having to be so deliberate to shield our children from never ending bad news. Shooting, war and now a bombing.

I still remember the morning more than a dozen years ago when I turned on the TV just in time to watch live as a plane took out the second tower. It was the first time I knew that I couldn’t hide the bad news from my then five year old, Alison. Minutes later my nightgown wearing barefoot daughter made her way sleepily to the living room. As she snuggled down deep next to me she knew that this morning was different. You don’t necessarily think when you are cradling your baby in your arms that one day you would have to explain evil to them. You are not prepared and I don’t think you can be. It is just one of those jump in head first and pray that what comes out is sufficient enough to be truthful and satisfying without ruining the innocence and wide eyed curiosity that only childhood can yield. How do you remind them the that here and now in my arms or at school or at grandma’s they are safe? I know we need to filter but most of the time it is unavoidable.

Several months ago. Another school shooting. This time it was Brouke’s turn to see what evil looks like. And now, an all American wholesome activity marred by destruction and devastation is plastered everywhere. The horror and destruction is all over the TV and on the lips of every adult.

It is a fine line and letting your kids steer your conversation will generally give you parameters to work with. Kids usually ask great questions and beyond what they ask is most of the time unnecessary. They will clue you in to what is in their heart and how much they can handle. With the little ones be selective, you don’t want to compromise their sense of safety. Older kids will be able to process more but all children will need extra love and reassurance. Speak scripture to them. Remind them not be worry or be anxious (Matthew 6:27) that God will deliver us from our fears (Psalm 34:4). Tell them that God will give them peace and that He is in control (Phillipians4:6-7). Remind them for every bad person their are thousands of good people. Let them get involved in making the world a better place by giving them opportunities to serve others and their community. It helps channel all their fears and gives them a sense of control over their environment. Mostly, trust your instincts. God gave you the children you have for a reason.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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Categories Faith, Family

Birthday Boy

5 Jul

He has all the fighting noises down when his ninja turtles fight. When he wants to learn something he sticks to it until he gets it. He is fearless and he makes his mama nervous. He has a great sense of humor and laughs easily and hard-and loves to play tricks. He looks up to his daddy and wants to be just like him. His best buddy is grandpa. He loves Jesus, Mr Bean, riding his skateboard, watermelon and his mama’s cooking. He wants to be a doctor and own a Burger King, he knows who his wife is going to be and that his wedding will be at Bunker Beach. When he is fast asleep his impossibly long eyelashes tickle the tops of his cheeks and his little boy hands curl under his chin and in the dim light I can still see the sweet babyish features of my growing too fast boy. He is barely the right size to curl easily in my lap and tell me sweet things that can only come from the heart of a little boy. He was the most welcomed surprise to our supposed to be family of 4. I will tuck him in and kiss his sweet soft cheek once more while he is 5 because tomorrow he will wake up 6.

Be Blessed and be a Blessing,

Rebecca

Tags: birthday, birthday boy, blessing, children, happy birthday, son

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Categories Faith, Family

So Good to be Reminded

4 Jul

I had the chance to spend some time speaking with a Nigerian woman today. She spent some time telling me about the twenty-some years spent in Nigeria, a life that we don’t see or hear about in the media. I was shaken listening to her stories of polygamy, abuse, corruption, and cult like rituals. She touched on that for a while before moving on to her new life here. Her face suddenly lit up as she spoke with enthusiasm and gratitude of simplistic things, everyday norms that get overlooked in our busy, abundant, entitled lives. Her joy was undeniable and my guilt and embarrassment apparent. You see, I was doing a little complaining.

It got me thinking about how very blessed we are to live in a country where we are free to share our thoughts and opinions, to disagree, to think freely, to dress as we please, to go where we please, to eat what we please and to worship our God freely and openly without fear. This is normal life to us. We don’t really appreciate these freedoms until we are reminded that life isn’t so everywhere else.
Despite all the problems, we are blessed. So I will shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth (Psalm 100:1) and I will do it without fear, for I am a blessed American woman.

A prayer for you:
Thank you God for blessing me with being a woman, wife, and mother here in America. Thank you for the blessing of clean water, abundant food, education, and medicine regardless of money. Thank you God for the freedom to worship you wherever and whenever we choose- free from persecution. Lord, I pray for the women who live oppressed persecuted lives. For the women who live in fear and without hope. Lord, somehow someway touch them and deliver them from the bondage. With praise and thanksgiving to you, my mighty King-Amen!

Happy 4^th of July and remember freedom isn’t free. With gratitude, I celebrate!

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Tags: American, blessed, blessing, Freedom, God, gratitude, Jesus, prayer, Woman

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Categories Faith, Family

Teaching our Children to Have a Servant’s Heart

2 Jul

More than anything else I want my children to have a servant’s heart and to have empathy for those who are lost and hurting. I want their eyes to be open to see that life doesn’t revolve around them but life could be better for someone because of them. To serve in the name and love of God and not in the name of their ego and pride. To serve knowing their eternal reward is far better than any worldly award or recognition (Knowing it is by grace they are saved not works-Ephesians 2:8). To put all selfish desires aside, religious beliefs, social class, racial class, and any other worldly obstacle aside and love because He loved us first ( 1 John 4:19). To teach them to be ready to give their coat, to bandage a wound, to give a hug, to offer encouragement, to offer a prayer, a listening ear, a strong back, but mostly be ready to tell of their Savior and the great gift of salvation He brings (Proverbs 11:24-25, John 3:16).

How, in the midst of an entitled culture do I do this? First, and most important, I need to be in the word and in prayer. Second, I don’t indulge every whim and fancy of my children. A gift then becomes a real surprise, welcomed with true gratitude. We discern the difference between want and need and they are learning to appreciate a job well done. Lastly, practice what you preach. Your children do as they see not as they hear.

I am a work in progress, always! I fail more than I succeed. I just pray that in the middle of my shortcomings, they see the true intentions and through that, I pray, compassion sprouts.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Let’s connect on Pinterest!

Tags: believers, Bible, blessed, blessing, burdened, children, christ, Christian, Christian blog, christian blogger, Christian mother, Christian wife, Christian woman, christianity, comfort, easy, empathy, Encouragement, Eternal Vaue, faith, homemaker, homemaking, housewife, husband, Jesus, Joy, Lord, love, media, motherhood, parenting, prayer, scripture, Servant, servants heart, serving, teaching, transformation, trust, Truth, weary, wife, Woman

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Categories Faith, Family

This is not Heaven

1 Jul

“The song of the whippoorwill. Let her sing. Let her sing in the dark. let her sing at the dawn. Let her song remind you that you were not made for this place and that there is a place just for you. But until then, be realistic. Lower your expectations of earth. This is not heaven, so don’t expect it to be.”

~Max Lucado~

I just now read that. I had to stop and read it a dozen times. As I sat quietly looking this over, this thought came to my mind-“Will what you sow now be worth reaping in the future?” In Galatians 6:7-10 it says that “for the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

When we live for worldly things it creates turmoil and misery in our lives, well, actually our soul. When we give in to the lusty appetites of our flesh our only gift is endless disappointment. But, when we live under the influence of the Holy Spirit we reap everlasting life.

It is hard to comprehend sometimes. We are fallen and of the flesh brings immediate gratification. Doing something for eternal value sometimes can be uncomfortable and even painful. I needed the reminder that what I do or don’t do has eternal effects. Is what I’m planting going to have kingdom value for tomorrow and tomorrow’s tomorrow?

Not always, but God reminded tonight to be more mindful of my life and those who pass through it. To plant seeds of truth and life. To look up and remember this is only my temporary home. To find my joy in the Lord and to not make this place heaven because heaven will never let us down.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Let’s connect on Pinterest

Image courtesy of [ponsulak] at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Tags: believers, Bible, blessed, blessing, burdened, children, christ, Christian, Christian blog, christian blogger, Christian mother, Christian wife, Christian woman, christianity, comfort, easy, Encouragement, Eternal Vaue, faith, family, future, Galatians, God, gratitude, Heaven, Holy Spirit, homemaker, homemaking, homeschool, housewife, husband, Jesus, jesus christ, Joy, life, living, Lord, love, Max Lucado, media, motherhood, parenting, prayer, scripture, Servant, servants heart, serving, teaching, transformation, trust, Truth, weary, wife, Woman

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Categories Faith, Family

Welcome Letter

29 Jun

Sweet ladies-

We all come together broken sinners. We are all at different levels with our faith, from those growing up in a strong Christian home, those still seeking and searching, and all of us in between. Some are married, some are not, and some are divorced. Regardless, we all come together with the commonality of women, wives, and mother’s seeking to make a difference, become stronger and better versions of ourselves, and to make meaningful connections. I write, in hopes that I can encourage you where you are and hopefully give you tools to help you along your journey. I will try to cover a variety of topics in the hopes that I never shy away from the biggest things we go through as women. They might not always be relevant to you now but it might in the future and then you have the tools and resources to help guide you or maybe help someone close to you. I encourage you to step out in faith even if it is a little uncomfortable. This is a safe place to discover and bloom. To ask questions and seek answers. We are all on a journey and remember we all have a story to tell. God has led me here and given me the opportunity to share my mess-my testimony piece by piece and he has used it all for good, for His glory and it has set me free. The women I have encountered, whether good or bad, for a season or for life, have been instrumental in helping me become the woman I am today. They were there to answer questions, to challenge me, to speak the truth in love, and to encourage me. This ministry is dear to my heart and I pray that you too are blessed by what you read and see in these pages. This is my story, what is yours?

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

Tags: Christian, Encouragement, Jesus, Woman

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Categories Faith, Family

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…..and a sprinkle of love

The Quarrelsome Wife

God Will Meet You Where You Are

Bedtime Prayer

Talking to our kids about Boston

Birthday Boy

So Good to be Reminded

Teaching our Children to Have a Servant’s Heart

This is not Heaven

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