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Tag Archives: babies

Lest we Forget

28 May

I am so grateful for the brave men and women who headed the call and left what was familiar and comfortable for a life of upheaval and uncertainty. Today I pause with reflective prayer to honor those who gave their all…the fallen brave who courageously breathed their last breath defending the country and the people they so loved.

To the families who gather around a grave rather than a grill-my prayer is that our Heavenly Father will fill them with grace, peace, and healing. That they would find comfort in each other and that the sweet memories of their loved ones will sustain them until they are reunited in Heaven. Thank you, for your great sacrifice also!

 

As you enjoy your 3 day weekend please remember and pray for all the brave men and women in our military. Pray for the mothers and fathers who will never hold their precious boys and girls in their arms again, for the wives and husbands who will never get to live out the hopes and dreams they planned together, and for the precious children who will never feel the tickle of daddy’s whiskers on their cheek or the soft embrace of their mother’s arms again. The burden is too great to let this weekend go by without a heartfelt sense of gratitude for the meaning behind our three day weekend.

 

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

 

Photo credit: Google Images

 

 

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Frogs and snails and all the Wonderful Things Little Boys are Made of

5 Jul

With an extra goodnight kiss he will roll over and easily fall asleep just like most nights. I will retreat upstairs and watch the clock and time will pass all too quickly. I will sit and think of precious thoughts like sweet baby breath on my neck, those far too early mornings rocking a well fed baby watching the sun rise, and that one book I read 3,000 times…..and I will think how I would give anything to just do that one more time.

Babies don’t keep and neither do kids.  The years fly by, one quicker than the next and in the busyness you all of sudden think, “we are here, already?”.

I smile thinking of those first moments and years.

Tonight, in this dark room, I think of how he is now…smart and handsome as his daddy. Persistent, hard working, and loyal, character traits well beyond his years. He is a saver and a planner, so much so that his life is already planned.  He is funny and goofy and his laugh brightens a room faster than the summer sun. He is brave even when he doesn’t feel it and he is always observing on how he can be his very best. He is kind, thoughtful, and tender hearted to those who are hurting or lacking. He would give you his meal, his favorite toy, or the shoes on his feet-he sure teaches me what it means to have a servant’s heart.  He loves Jesus, soccer, chicken kabobs, chocolate fudge ice cream, his hero-daddy, his big sister’s, Ninja Turtles, but right now mostly his mama. 

He is getting so tall but he still fits in all the crooks and spaces of my lap and even though these snuggles are getting far and few between when he finds me he knows it is all his. His sweet head resting on my shoulder I close my eyes as I rest my head against his,breathing in the sweet smell of little boy. Fleeting but lost in the moment for this will soon be just a tender memory.

 Tonight as the clock quickly finds its way around a sweet little boy is dreaming sweet thoughts of presents and cake. For when he awakes he will be 7.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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My Girl

4 Jun

On the verge of adolescents and all the things big girls like. Each year I thank God for another year and ask for just one more summer of playing barefoot in the grass, dandelion bouquets, girly shrieks as she runs and leaps through the sprinklers, watching a too big ice cream cone melt down her hand , pink bikes with glittery streamers blowing as she races her brother down the street, the first hints of summer sprinkled across her nose. The easiness of her laugh, the little hand that still finds it way into mine, and the angelic voice that drifts from the shower.  The emergence of the missing printer paper that has been transformed into brilliant illustrated stories, the way she sits next to me on the couch with a tight hug around my arm and soft curls on my shoulder, and bare feet and nightgown at the breakfast table. The way I admire her heart for serving and her heart for the hurting and her love for Jesus.

I thank God for her innocence and that she has this precious time to be little even if it is for just a bit longer. I know that my bargaining for another summer is quickly coming to an end…. but not this summer. I will love her even bigger and cherish all her little girlness be it just a moment longer. My prayer is that she will continue to grow in beauty and grace and that when she can no longer be little she can continue to love life with just as much enthusiasm and joy.

What a gift she is to me and to the world. I am a blessed mama who kissed her 9 year old goodnight and will wake to a beautiful 10 year old!

 

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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The Original Teen Mom

31 Oct

18 years ago today I was 17.  It was my senior year of high school or at least it should of been. I was that girl. You all knew her. That girl in high school who suddenly disappeared from the halls-the girl who got pregnant in high school. Let me tell you, it wasn’t trendy 18 years ago to be that girl. There were no television shows or magazine covers to glamorize it.

At 23 weeks pregnant I went into preterm labor. For a week they were able to pump enough medication into me to delay delivery. Halloween 1995 at 24 weeks pregnant I welcomed my 1 lb 12 oz baby girl into the world. The doctor laid her briefly on my chest before being whisked away by a team of doctors and nurses. Hours later I was wheeled down to get a glimpse at my daughter. She was covered in tubes and wires and her eyes were still fused shut. She was beautiful despite it all.

Her outcome was bleak. I was told to prepare for wheel chairs, feeding tubes, extreme mental impairments and the list went on. Some said it was what I deserved for being a teen mom, others said that I got myself into this so I would have to deal with this on my own, and I was ridiculed by the rest. Let me tell you, it was a dark, terrifying, lonely time.

No matter, everyday I was there mothering her as much as I could under the extreme circumstances. Two and half months later and one month and one day before her due date, Alison beat the odds and came home months ahead of schedule weighing a hefty 4lbs 7 oz. Not only did she come home but she stayed home. The first few months were rough. Sleeping for only 45 minutes at a time, countless doctor appointments, and financial hardship.

Alison beat the odds in ways that doctors can’t explain. It wasn’t an easy ride but we made it.

I could go on, the story is good….well, at least I think so:) I share the good with the bad. The triumphs with the tragedies. No, it wasn’t ideal to be a pregnant teenager. I see my daughter now at the age I was when she was born and she is such a baby still. I think back to the girl I used to be and I see a scared young girl in need of a little compassion, guidance, and forgiveness.

I think sometimes we dismiss people who are hurting when we feel like they brought it on themselves. We pick and chose who is deserving of mercy and compassion and when we do we are playing god. Loving someone who is hurting because of their poor choice doesn’t mean you agree with or support their transgression.  Indifference and humiliation further breaks the person. We serve a God of healing and mercy and sometimes that healing and mercy comes from you.

Today, I rejoice and thank God for the miracle who sleeps down the hall. I thank God for giving that 17 year old girl such love and compassion for that tiny baby, and I thank God for His compassion and mercy on me, and for being the God of second chances.

*Photo is of the first time I got to hold my daughter*

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~
Rebecca

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Reflections

28 Sep

I am coming up on a big milestone in my life.  My oldest daughter is getting ready to turn 18.  I became her mama under the most unfortunate of circumstances.  I was a young, unwed, teenage girl with no money and honestly no clue.  What makes the story a little more complicated is that she was born not well.  I was only 24 weeks pregnant when she made her very small and very quiet way into the world.  I think we can all agree that even under the best circumstances having a baby is hard and having a sick baby is super hard.

The past several months has had me being very reflective.  Looking back on that hard first year and the subsequent years that were still a little hard but mostly joyful.  I keep thinking on all the things I should of done and the things I could of done better. I look at her now, a senior in high school, enjoying a life much different than my own.

I was the youngest in a blended family of five, actually I was a big oops!  My older siblings really gave my parents a run for their money.  It seemed one big problem kept overlapping the next.  I was often told to go play and probably unintentionally overlooked because I wasn’t causing any problems.  Fast forward to the really formative years of my life and I was still alone.  I was left to navigate these years with only destructive bahavior patterns leftover from my now grown but still incapable siblings.  It was now my legacy and I didn’t disappoint.  The only difference is that being left alone for so long, I was good at hiding in the shadows, therfore, I was able to avoid real trouble.

I really missed out on healthy behaviors being modeled for me.  When I became a mama, I ferociosly loved my baby girl with all that I had. I didn’t know what being a good parent looked like but I knew that I wanted to be one.  The first years were trial and error.  What I really lacked and really craved for was a woman who I could look up to and someone who could encourage me.  Self pity is an expesive trip to take and I certainly maxed out.  A time came where at a cross road I had to decide once and for all the path I would take.  Since I didn’t have the people I needed I could become the type of person I needed.  I love that even though I didn’t know God, He still had His hand on me.

Thus, the journey began. So here, 18 years later, I reflect on the journey and all that I’ve learned. That the brokenness of your past does not have to be the legacy of your future.  It is never too late to keep trying again.  That with God nothing is truly broken, that all the past wounds, heartaches, disappointments etc..are all God shaped.

So here we are.  I look over at the one who made me a mama and thank God for our journey this far.  She is learning to navigate this complicated world as a young woman with dreams and desires and she is trying to make a mark for herself despite the physical limitations of Cerebral Palsy.  She is walking with the one who loves her most and because of that she is OK and so am I.

~Be Blessed and be a Blessing~

Rebecca

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